mayhem today with the besties!!! ughh and staying out so late last night was not a good idea- Christina got her tattoo! looks amazing and im getting mine on monday! so excited!! im getting loyalty in cursive on my foot -with a heart- loyalty means alot to me but chris got love & learn on her stomach under her belly button you know? is awsome!! but we went to skating last night - and usually im fine the next day but we went to the all nighter and left abou 4am ughh bad idea im soo tired but it was so much fun! we danced.

AURRRG so i have to take me compass test tomm. at jjc and im not looking forward to it at all!!! POISON WAS AMAZING!!! bret didnt fall in love with me but hell there is always next year lol -

mayhem next weekend and blink next month!!! whoot whoot

HA YUR JUST AN AVERAGE TEENAGE GIRL WHO THINKS SHE IS BETTER THEN EVERYONE ELSE** REALITY CHECK PLEASE!

YUP I LOVE POISON ME , CHRIS, CLAYTON, JEFF, ANG , AND TOM- SHOULD BE AWSOME SO EXCITED!

LOVE YOU CHRISTINA!!!

Its the hardest thing to say good bye but im finally ready to do it - but i have to say some things first- how dare you say those things about my -Miscarriage it wasnt just some story and it wasnt just some Miscarriage!!! She was my baby!!! She was Miley Taylor Caine and her due date was May 14th - she wasnt just some egg that didnt make it! she had eye lashes when she died- she had finger nails and she had the most beautiful heart beat ive ever heard in my whold life and ill be damned if you talk about her like she was nothing - SHE WOULD HAVE BEEN SOMTHING TO YOU! and no im not sorry Christina said her God daughter was fake! everyone is pissed! we loved that little girl and i love my friends for being there for me threw it all ! and yea i probly would haev taken back this whole fight if you hadnt of gone there. but i cant not stick up for her- becouse although she didnt make it to her due date ! she will forever be in my heart! so this is my good bye to you. i cant take this anymore im not ganna check up on your tumblr to make sure your doing ok or answer you messeges- ive blocked you on facebook.. now i have to make my break from you. and move on with the friends i can trust- i will always love you! you were my best friend for years and have been here threw alot - but they were her in the end- when i really hit the bottom. you can appologize all you want but you can never take back what you said about Miley- youve have to be scum to talk about a poor helpless baby in a fight! and i want nothing more to do with you. Good bye.

Im A big girl… and i dont mean in size lol. I can admit when im wrong and i know i do alot of bad things threw anger… and Rage… and yes i grew apart from a good friend… and idk it hurts soo bad becouse i didnt want to… i cant even exsplain y… i cant even begin to exsplain how much it hurts to try to fix things and basically have the other person cut you off and make fun of you …. and wrote how much i was hurting and how i wished more then anything that it didnt come to this… but can you blame me for getting angry?? can you really??? you made fun of my crying.. like i ment nothing to you- when i said sorry after sorry after sorry…. and i didnt even mention the fight to my friends at first - til SHE got into it. and sorry i had to talk to someone about it - the person i turn to walked away. i had to tell someone- God knows that bad comes out of keeping it in my head..

It just sucks! ive had everyone walk out of my life.. and the one that you think will never leave does.. and you dont know what to do - you dont know where to turn and then you get everything thrown back in your face. things that other people dont know about and things that hurt so bad you had to turn to a friend. eveything get called a lie and you just dont know what to do…

i finally understand the other side of people- its hard to let go of something that you would give anything to fix… you just want to chase it and think it will be ok in the end but it wont. things will never be the same and i dont think ive ever cried so hard in my life….

and my anger scares the crap out of me - how can i want to kill someone that was my best freinds- ive been in fights with friends before- hell Danielle hit me in the face and i would never hit a freind back - it just scares me that this is the end- its like Lauren and hiedi came true… and i love the last episode- (there ending ) Lauren going to the wedding… but i dont know how she did it.. how can a ex best friend sit there and look at the brids mades and not cry becouse you should be ther- you should be the gilr holding the flowers .. you should be ther one standing there… watching your best friend on the happiest day of her life.. letting her boss you around like you should be on that day… it just brings tears to my eyes knowing that… that wont be me. ill be in the stands becouse of a pitty invite…

IM SORRY THAT IM NOT READY TO SAY SORRY YET.. OF COURSE I AM - BUT IM NOT READY TO PUT IT INTO WORDS… YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH YOU HURT ME. AND YOU ARE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. BECOUSE IVE NEVER KNOWN THE YOU TO TREAT SOMEONE LIKE THIS AND NOT CARE……IM SORRY I JUST CANT FINISH RIGHT NOW- I HAVE TO GO THINK…

im at christina’s ch-ch-chillin :) having a great day!!!! sucks becouse she woke me up sooo early lol but i dont mind- yupp

whats on the a-jen-duhhhh  today? NOOO IDEA LOL buhhht idc. ttyl <3

yea things ahve been going amazing!! really its kinda seriel to me, you know? idk - so since the summer started ive been chillin with my besies more- which if you dont know are- christina little, andrea cullick, jamie jo, tom arroyo, michael cullick, danielle stegal, nique stegal, colleen and wayy more but im already sick of typing lol - so things have finally settled down and i just am so blessed! im back at day camp well just volenteering but that is ok.. i tried to not do it at all but the first week past and i missed the kids sooo much! but luckely i got two days a week to go to camp and see everyone and i love it.. ive been saying forever i need to be so much closer go my christian friends and im so happy i have becouse they keep me in line! lol. life was crazy for a while- i was in a rut… one of my best freinds walked out of my life and yea i was really really upset after a while- well til she made a comment about me and my religion so i guess i got over that one real quick- now she is dead to me. no lie i have never gotten to a point with a friend where i would not be there friend anymore - i have had a lot of friends screw me over and me still take them back becuose things happen and at first i was perfectly ok with it - it was just the way she went about doing it- like this is not grade school you can take me a side and tell me how you feel - like how chicken can you be! what cant confront the person you stabing in the back- pshhhh w.e lol and then she started talking bout me over her tumblr. hahah me and my besties laughed about that one but the only thing that made me mad was she said all i ever did was start drama so sorry i have to get this off my chest then im done- like for real this is the last time i will adress the matter becous to me she is dead and barried at least the real kelly is now its just a stuck up fake cheeto face girl in her place that seemed to loose her heart hahahah ! THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IN THE MATTER! UMM SINCE WHEN IS TELLING YOUR BEST FRIEND HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT EVERYTHING STARTING FAKE DRAMA??? AND TO ME STARTING DRAMA - IS TELLING EVERYONE SOMETHING— NOT TELLING YOUR BESTIE WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND ABOUT EVERYTHING. AND ME YOU ARE NOW A COLD HEARTLESS LITTLE GIRL THAT NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH!! LOOK AT YOUR EX! THAT BOY DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU =- EVERYTHING YOU ASKED FOR - GOT A JOB TRIED TO QUIT BAD THINGS- YOU STILL FIND SOMETHING WRONG - AND WITH ME- UHHH IDK MAYBE I WAS GOING THREW A HARD TIME AND COULDNT CHECK IN WITH YOU EVERYDAY — W.E FOR YOU TO NOT BEABLE TO LET THAT GO JUST SHOWES ME THAT WE WERENT MENT TO BE FRIENDS IN THE FIRST PLACE- NEWS FLASH NOT EVERYTHING IS GANNA GO YOUR LITTLE GIRL WAY- NOW YOUR ALONE! HA CONGRATS ! SERIOUSLY I THINK IAN WAS YOUR ONLY SHOT! like for a while there it was hard for me to think that it was over with me and her - i was like ok -people come and go in our lives and it is a blessing. becouse not eveyone can help eachother with everything - me and CHEETO FACE were just finally going threw something in each of our lives that we needed out side help with - her oger friend needed to help her with and i was going trew something that christina was better at helping me with - no big deal buhhhht since she said that about my religioun and how i am with it- that was the most sacret thing i have ever shared with someone and that was just the wrong thing to comment on - and she died to me the second that she commented on- i had a picture of her and ian next to my bed and i ripped it and ripped a bunch of things in my rooom from her up so now i am done! CHRISTINA I LOVE YOU!!! LOVE ALL!

ok so its been forever since i came on here and wrote so i thought i would take the time and put how things are going- things are going great ! i have the greatest friends ever and for once since iowa i feel great! like idk its been so unstable for me since i was back like id have days where is was fine and id have days were i was the meanest person ever! and days where i would just completely break down…..

but i stepped back and started looking at my life and started shaping myself into the person i want to be and shaping hit towards the life i know i can have. and everything has been great- as i wrote before i lost one of my best friends - she just up and left. and i thought things would never be the same but things are great - ive began to seround my self with great friends - on top of the great friends i had - well none of them are new but its like i put them on the back burner for her and i feel completely stupid becouse they have been the best - like when i was in iowa - who were the people that showed they cared - CHRISTINA CALLED EVERYDAY! CHECKING UP ON ME AND WE TEXTD ALL THE TIME! JAMIE TEXTED AND CALLED - ANDREA AND ERIN and for the guys TOM AND MIKE. 

like the friend that walked out has  showed me a very falouble leason! IVE BEEN PUTTING THE WRONG FRIENDS ON THE BACK BURNER!  so ive been spending so much time with christina and jamie and andrea and talking to erin SHELL BE HOME SOON!!!!  and im just so happy- i can be myself complete self and i finally feel back to myself since iowa! 

i love you guys sooo much and it means alot to me that you guys were here for me threw all of this and even if i hadnt made my life better and i was still a jerk youd still be here! becouse BEST FRIENDS MEAN FOREVER  threw the good and the bad and you guys have never left my side once - GOD HAS BLESSED ME WITH WONDERFUL PEOPLE IN MY LIFE THAT HAVE HELPED ME CHANGE AND BE GREAT ! 

LOVE,PEACE, AND BE HAPPY! 

NAOMI FAYE