Im A big girl… and i dont mean in size lol. I can admit when im wrong and i know i do alot of bad things threw anger… and Rage… and yes i grew apart from a good friend… and idk it hurts soo bad becouse i didnt want to… i cant even exsplain y… i cant even begin to exsplain how much it hurts to try to fix things and basically have the other person cut you off and make fun of you …. and wrote how much i was hurting and how i wished more then anything that it didnt come to this… but can you blame me for getting angry?? can you really??? you made fun of my crying.. like i ment nothing to you- when i said sorry after sorry after sorry…. and i didnt even mention the fight to my friends at first - til SHE got into it. and sorry i had to talk to someone about it - the person i turn to walked away. i had to tell someone- God knows that bad comes out of keeping it in my head..
It just sucks! ive had everyone walk out of my life.. and the one that you think will never leave does.. and you dont know what to do - you dont know where to turn and then you get everything thrown back in your face. things that other people dont know about and things that hurt so bad you had to turn to a friend. eveything get called a lie and you just dont know what to do…
i finally understand the other side of people- its hard to let go of something that you would give anything to fix… you just want to chase it and think it will be ok in the end but it wont. things will never be the same and i dont think ive ever cried so hard in my life….
and my anger scares the crap out of me - how can i want to kill someone that was my best freinds- ive been in fights with friends before- hell Danielle hit me in the face and i would never hit a freind back - it just scares me that this is the end- its like Lauren and hiedi came true… and i love the last episode- (there ending ) Lauren going to the wedding… but i dont know how she did it.. how can a ex best friend sit there and look at the brids mades and not cry becouse you should be ther- you should be the gilr holding the flowers .. you should be ther one standing there… watching your best friend on the happiest day of her life.. letting her boss you around like you should be on that day… it just brings tears to my eyes knowing that… that wont be me. ill be in the stands becouse of a pitty invite…
IM SORRY THAT IM NOT READY TO SAY SORRY YET.. OF COURSE I AM - BUT IM NOT READY TO PUT IT INTO WORDS… YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH YOU HURT ME. AND YOU ARE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. BECOUSE IVE NEVER KNOWN THE YOU TO TREAT SOMEONE LIKE THIS AND NOT CARE……IM SORRY I JUST CANT FINISH RIGHT NOW- I HAVE TO GO THINK…
